Monday, May 07, 2012

Being a happy woman

"Dont spend. I will take care of the bills. You can keep all the money that you earn as savings." 

Most men, whose mothers have not been working women tend to think that their role in a family is about being the provider. If they happen to marry a woman who works, they have a very hard time getting used to the fact that the woman might not necessarily like being financially dependent. Or being told not to spend. Or being told how to spend their money. 

Each person has a sense of control over their lives, by being financially sensitive. By knowing their earning potential and how they should plan their lives around it. It is not just the man's domain to earn money. Women also have developed a taste for it. Let alone the financial aspect of going to work... A woman's life today does not revolve around the kitchen and keeping a beautiful house and picking up laundry. More so, for a woman who has seen her mother raise her, take care of the house, go to work and multi-task in a 100 odd ways. 

It becomes very demeaning to be told that I should not spend my money. That he will take care of the bills. That he will take care of the EMI. That it is sufficient if I plan the vacation. He will pay. I do not need to own a house. I dont need a car. I dont need a 100 dress wardrobe. I did not get married because I needed somebody to support me financially. I did not get married because I needed a social licence to have sex. What I want is a person who lets me grow in my natural way. Who feels proud of my accomplishments. Who appreciates/ criticises my work with honest interest. Who takes interest in the people who mean a lot to me. 

It forces a woman to become fiercely competitive and earn at least equally as her husband, if only to gain his respect and interest. If we were left to ourselves, without getting married, I think most women of today would not be bothered about earning so much above their needs. We women do not have great aspirations of wealth. A supportive family which respects our opinions and freedoms will leave us a lot happier. We would probably be a lot happier writing poetry, painting, dancing, singing and feel happy at the progress of our families. 

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