Wednesday, December 28, 2005

lie all the way

Can one live with no links to past experiences? Is it possible to delink/ dissociate oneself from all previous experiences? Words appear in my mind, like tiny bubbles, with all the potential to form a huge one, and then they suddenly burst and disappear into nothingness. All that is left is a faint spray on my face that dries away, even before I can gather my senses to describe it. There it is... Oh! - It is gone, now...

Where does one draw the line between the joy of writing, as compared to the compulsion to write? Does it matter in the end, why one writes? or, even - if one does write at all? What a pity, when one cannot write/ put into words, what they think!

He sat there, stone still... What more could he say? There were no tears, no expressions on his face. He sat there, writing down equations, solving them, rechecking the calculations. If only, he could mathematically solve life, it would be so much easier on both of them. There would be no more unspoken wishes, no wishful, subtle hints, no sarcasm that seemes to fly on top of his head, no foaming anger that he couldnt decipher, no laughs that he did not fathom, no - everything would be what it was on its face value. written and answers boxed off... That is how he liked it.

He would not have to take the absolute value of the laughter and integrate the meaning behind the words. Words spoken from t ranging from the first time he met her to the instance of the fight. Relationships would be one continuous function. Life would be solvable. Life of X could be expressed as F(x) = Lie. That was what it was - one big lie...

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